Thankful for my proximity to madness
By madness I mean the glowing, pulsing, vibrating hive of activity that is New York City.
For some it’s madness. Loud, dirty, neon, insanity. I have heard the complaint that it’s crowded and invasive, but at the same time cold and lonely. A friend who came to visit from the rural midwest observed that people “look right through you”; and another pal who moved here from a quiet suburb suggested that it may be because the city is so crowded that we have to ignore everyone. We have to create this mental illusion that we are the only person on the street at the moment. To engage everyone you see, all the time, would be exhausting. We’d never get anywhere!
Beyond that, I personally need it.
You’ve heard the phrase “alone in a crowded room”? Usually it has a negative connotation. Referring to a feeling of isolation even when surrounded by people. Me? I need that. I walk a fine line between introvert and adventurer. I suffer from seeerious FoMo. I want to be in the middle of the action, I want to see the thing that’s only around for a little while, I want to hear all the music, I want to see all the art, I want to taste all the food, I want to see all the people. . . .but I want to do it all in my own way, process it all internally and I don’t want anyone interfering while I do.
So for me NYC is the perfect setting. I can walk around the Village, sit in Central Park, even stroll through Times Square (at off hours of course. . .the off-est hours possible lol) and take it all in; and no one says a word to me. Well, almost. There’s the occasional tourist needing directions, or someone telling me my boots are fly.
I am so grateful that when I get too far to one end of the spectrum or the other. Lay-on-the-floor lethargic or run-up-the-walls manic, I can re-calibrate on the streets of NYC. No matter what time of the day or night, there are always people around, there is always something going on.
I always have the opportunity to go out, walk about or sit on a bench, get lost in the crowd, lost in my thoughts. Simultaneously in the thick of it all, and alone and undisturbed. A single star in the galaxy that is NYC. Just burnin’ away, minding my own business.
For that I am always grateful.