Thankful a safe well lit, climate controlled place in which to workout my body and my mental issues at any time of the day or night.

OK so not all of these are going to be profound truths of the universe. We have to be thankful for the small things in life too! (more on that later, just wait til the new year when I reboot my birthday series LOL)

Today I am thankful for my 24 hour gym. Of course there is always a place to workout any time and any day. But I am a bit of a diva, our apartment is pretty small, and it’s getting cold in NY. Cold. . .and dark early.

Too dark to be out jogging around the suburbs by myself.NoFace

Too cold to suit up not to freeze. . .but also prepare to sweat.

Too awks to move furniture and clean up the living room just to jump around in it.

Too annoying to deal with civilians/stoners on the boardwalk . . basically, ever.

all of that. . . .just . . . .

It’s nice to have a safe place to work out as hard or as lazily as I want and not be judged or ogled.

When I used to work in an office, all the birdies would chirp: you don’t neeeed to work out!!! You’re skinnyyyy!

A- shut your collective face. You don’t know my situation and my level of physical activity is all kinds of none of your business. Why do we feel the need to assess one another constantly? and B- I do need to work out. I need it physically. Because it helps me maintain a healthy A1C. Because I like skinny jeans, half shirts, and prancing around South Beach in nerdy bikinis, and because I feel like it!

Above all that, I need it mentally. There’s more to a hard workout than just getting sexy abs or a bubble butt or whatever.

It’s about conditioning. Conditioning your mind to push just a little harder when you feel like quitting. Testing the lower limit of your internal well of strength for just a half inch more. If I can do 51 sit-ups today, when I only had 50 in me yesterday. . . .what else can I do after I thought I was done for? Conditioning yourself to always question the word “can’t”. Training yourself always to make the sentence “I can’t?” a jumping off point, not the end of the discussion.

It’s about blank space. I walk through every day with a million thoughts swirling around my head. It’s a gift and a curse. Sometimes I can’t even get a sentence out before 17 other thoughts and ideas come branching off of little pieces of what I am trying to say! (casually referred to as The Glitterweb)  There are usually poorly scribbled half-sentences or terrible diagrams with arrows and circles. . . .sometimes there’s terrible origami as I splutter and stumble trying to explain the thing I see in my mind, to the person who will help me make it reality. (Reasons why literature is my medium. Well, written word. . .and chemistry haha)

When I am working out, when I am running, there is a point where I get SO involved, that all of the thoughts, and all the little idea splinters that stem from those thoughts faaaaade into the distance, and I can think abut one thing at a time, clearly. . . .There is a point beyond that where I can’t feel my muscle strain, the sweat in my eyes, the smacking of my ponytail against the nape of my neck. I can’t hear the college gals giggling, the trainers yelling, the weights clanging, the basketballs bouncing, the boys yelling, or their sneakers squeaking. I can barely hear my music.

I see nothing in my mind’s eye, I hear nothing but my heartbeat, and all I can concentrate on is my next breath.

For a safe, clean place to attain that level of clarity; anytime I need it, I am thankful.